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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

New Rules (a la Bill Maher) Main Street

I truly love Bill Maher (even though he makes me cringe sometimes, a throwback to my mother's prissy ground of being). I realized I have some beefs of my own, so I'm going to start my own new rules. It may take me awhile to get them all down.

NEW RULE

Any political candidate attacking another political candidate in public may NEVER rationalize, apologize, or speak to said candidate or any one in their camp again. THE despicable should have to live with their choices. I am sick of it. SHAME on you. And this should NOT be biz as usual amongst you.

NEW RULE

Any freaking redneck driving a car, a truck or a tractor MUST put on a turn signal before turning in front of my waiting (patiently) car at the intersection. Does that cell phone plastered to your ear cancel all courtesy and driving rules? I really hate when you do that.

NEW RULE

All of you Facebook freaks who find it necessary to befriend people you don't know, have never even heard of, PLEASE get some therapy. Facebook is not the answer. If I befriend you, it is because I am afraid you'll commit suicide if I don't. Give me a break. All those friends of mine who are also your friends? They dont know you either.

NEW RULE

If "60 Minutes" is going to be pre-empted by fucking football games, DirectTV either better figure out their DVR timing thing, or the sponsors of all advertising following the game should just give up their ads, so 60 Minutes comes on, and finishes without interruption. WHERE is it written that sports are more important than investigative reporting? Shame on this country~

NEW RULE

When you travel around the country giving lectures about your Best Selling (for I forget how many weeks) book on the fall of Lehman Brothers (and a fascinating lecture, and most amiable
author), you should really SELL books at the event. People were lined up in the aisles to ask questions in the mics, as I slipped out. Nary a book in sight.

NEW RULE

People standing in lines to ask questions of an author should really NOT tell the room the whole history of their investment/business/economic failures. Coming from you, the "little people" (yes one of you bores actually called yourself that, and numerous times in your long litany of woes) it just sounds like my former mother in law.

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