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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Oh! Say~ Can you SEE??? (me)

The week from hell is over~! The doctor announced that the macular hole in my retina is closed~!! Operation a success. My head has been downward, nose to my toes for a week, in order for the gas bubble in my eye to exert the proper pressure against the open hole.

By the seventh day, I had sunk into major depression, certain that I would never use my right eye again. My head down, my shoulders and neck sore from the constant slump, I was defeated by my own mortality. My life was sliding downhill. Age. Defeat. So it was a happy visit to the doctor, indeed.

Last night I was able to sleep with my head on my pillow, cheek down, instead of face down in a doughnut at the end of the bed. I rolled over (many times) instead of staying stick-still, hardly sleeping, for fear of complicating the surgery. Small freedoms, huge joys.

The gas bubble is sitting halfway up my eye. I feel that I am peering over it, like a water line in a goldfish bowl. It will slowly dissipate, and in time my vision may improve beyond its original capability. I can drive when I find myself comfortable enough to do so, with or without the bubble. The whole experience is one of the weirdest I've ever had.

I am grateful to have my eyesight.

And today I go to the kennel to collect my dogs and cat. I am missing them more than I can even relate. It broke my heart to leave them in cages. They surely think I have forsaken them. So today will be a happy, happy day at the Jackson reunion.

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