Wow, what a trip it's been. I haven't had a trading fund in a number of months (I've lost count of how many! But I used what was left of my fund to buy a house in January, so it's been at least all of 2014) and it feels really good to open my software this morning and ta da~ ! My funds are cleared, and I began to trade /CL sweet crude oil with REAL money for the first time!
Now I live alone with dogs and a cat, so I don't have family around to chat up my trading. But I DO have an extended family of friends, people I love dearly (dearly!)
who think I'm crazy as a bat in a sunroom, and they consider trading (most especially MY trading since I'm the original pauper) nothing but gambling. That in spite of the fact that they have never traded themselves and don't have the first notion of what it is I really do But since I have just been through the worst financial crisis of my life, they can't imagine that I would turn to trading to pull myself out of the abyss. Now, this affects me. Why? Mostly because I love them and expect them to respect and trust me. But basically they think I'm lying. What happened to me financially was not entirely my own fault. I had the assistance of an entire nation
and a recession to aid in my downfall. And I certainly didn't lose it trading! In fact, trading kept me buoyed for many months when I would have fallen faster and
harder without it.
So when I sat down to trade today with my new baby fund...I found my heart in my throat. What if they are right? What if I am delusional? What if I lose it all and they will say "I told you so!" (after all, there are no guarantees in trading, and losses WILL and DO happen. The trick is to win more than you lose, and that's called the
skill of it, which I have devoted about four 1/2 years of my life learning).
Then I realized a couple of things:
One. It really helps to have a trading partner, or a trading buddy. Someone who understands the things you do, and with whom you
can share new knowledge and swap bragging rights and horror stories without them thinking you're a braggart or jumped off the deep end. I really need to work on this one, as I don't seem to find the right match. It simply is totally defeating to let family and friends get under your skin. If you don't have the courage of your own
convictions, then reconsider whether you should trade at all.
Two. What are the worst enemies you have in trading? I learned this when I was brand new, and it took me a couple of years to master any kind of control.
Fear and Greed. And that's exactly what I found this morning...rampant fear in my heart! The minute I recognized that pest for what it was, I settled down
and in the very limited time I have before sailing off to a "real" job (as my "family" calls it) I made $200 trading. (after $77 in fees, I netted over $100.)
So, you've seen me through the papertrading of /CL oil futures. Here I go with real money. I'm disclosing all to you because you, I realize, are my true trading
buddy. I love your comments, your emails, your questions and I feel like this is the place to show you the money. It's puny, it's pathetic, but hey! It's mine
and I love the chance to be back in the game.